"The Trio Plays Texas Stadium"
(well...sort of)
January 31st,
For the first road trip
of the year, the trio heads to the 'Live Music
Capitol of the World' (Austin, Texas). They have
been hired to play for the Texas Protax Austin's
post holiday party (post 31 days, but whatever).
The event is being held in the UT Club, which is
an exclusive area on the 6th floor of the
University of Texas stadium
.
This executive area is where longhorn alumni
gather after a longhorn football game to
celebrate the team's victory or (heaven forbid)
drown their sorrows if the game ended in defeat.
Being that it's a day before the super bowl,
George is excited to be playing at any football
stadium (even if it is empty)
.
Matthew and George meet
up at Lee's place since it's on the way. The
three head around the corner to the local
convenience store to load up on junk food for
the three hour trip
.
After multiple scans of the narrow isles of the
store, Matthew begins to panic. He is unable to
locate a much-needed bag of Corn Nuts! Lee and
George watch impatiently from the counter with
their purchases. Matthew maneuvers through the
rows of snack foods like a lab rat in a maze.
"Maybe items are listed alphabetically.
Look over by the Corn chips." Lee and
George laugh, but Matthew is not amused
.
Finally, Matthew finds what he's looking for and
approaches the register. George turns to Lee
"Lucky you, you're going to be smelling those
for the next 200 miles." Lee responds "Are you
sure you don't want to ride with us?" "There's
not enough space; I've got to deliver my
brother's bike, and that plus all of my
equipment would not leave any room for Matthew."
Lee and George simultaneously look towards
Matthew to see him pouring the bag of Corn Nuts
into his eager mouth. His tongue bats at a
renegade 'Cornball' to recapture it between his
teeth. Lee and George look at each other and
pause for contemplative moment and decide. "No...we'll take
him with us." Matthew manages to force out the
words "What's up?" between cracking Corn Nuts
between his teeth. It sounds like gravel being
trampled under rhino feet. "Uh...Nothing - Come
on, It's time to get going."
The three head up the road to the new storage
area affectionately known as 'The Bunker'
.(The last one had some attempted break-ins so
Lee's wife Loretta recommended this facility.)
The last item is loaded in. Lee pulls the bay
door of the unit closed, snaps the lock into
place, closes the van hatchback, shuts his door,
buckles into the driver's seat, and rolls
down the road. But what he and Matthew have
forgotten to close is the side sliding panel
door of the van! It's easy for George to spot
the mistake driving behind Lee's van. He
feverously honks his horn and flashes his
headlights to alert Lee. But Lee can not hear
George's warnings over the non-stop Corn Nut
crunching coming from Matthew. Eventually
Matthew notices that there is a forceful breeze
circulating through the van. "Hey, Lee..."
Matthew points the bag of Corn Nuts at the
opening. The two pull off to side to make the
'adjustment' "Whew!" laughs Lee. "That was a
close one. I'm glad George didn't see that - He
would've had a stroke!"
George offers the most intimidating glare he can
muster as he passes by the van. Matthew raises
the Corn Nuts bag as if to toast or salute. Lee
doesn't notice him as he is looking at a map
while calling the UT Club
. Then Lee and Matthew witness a sight they have
never seen before: The back of George's vehicle
on the road in front of them!
Due to a severe (and often entertaining)
directional deficiency that George has, he
ALWAYS has to follow Lee or Matthew to the gig.
For quite some time now, he has gladly assumed
the position of the 'Caboose' in the caravan in
order to not get lost. For those events that he
has to meet the band at the venue, he usually
gets turned around and has to call someone for
help. The
running joke is that George thinks the letters 'G.P.S.'
stand for 'George Phone Someone.'
But today is different: George boldly takes to
the lead of the pack. He has told Lee that he
has a 'secret weapon'. He's recently purchased a
Garmin Nuvi GPS
and feels invincible. [Note: Lee also has a GPS,
but he is not as big jerk about it as George is]
Weather conditions are perfect today for a long
drive.
There's very little traffic headed out of town,
and Matthew has finally finished crunching that
bag of Corn Nuts. As the guys glide down the
highway, Lee and Matthew's conversations range
from Acid Jazz to the inauguration of the new president. They listen
repeatedly to the Bossa Nova classic that
Matthew wants to add to the band's repertoire:
THE GIRL FROM IMPANEMA.
The two contemplate different rhythms that
they can use to play it in the GP3 style. George
on the other hand, has put in a CD from a
minimalist jazz quartet from Denmark called
PAUSELAND. He discovered their music
earlier in the week by accident, and instantly
gobbled up their two releases. For the next few
hours he 'Zens Out' as the musical stream of
consciousness of their non-percussive (No
offense Lee) tones wash over him.
The three approach the outskirts of Austin.
George phones Lee to let him know that he's
breaking away to deliver his brother's bike (he lives less than 10 miles from the stadium). Lee
and Matthew race ahead to the venue and begin to
unload.
As they make it past the entrance of the
facility, they notice an unusual amount of steer
edifices and markings around them.
They have found themselves in the shrine-like
heart of the Bevo Center. Bevo is the
much-adored mascot of the Texas Longhorns
,
so Lee and Matthew are not surprised to see some
artifacts, but this is bordering on cultism. "I
know that Longhorn fans are wild
,
but this is way over the top." Matthew envisions
the scene where Moses comes down from the
mountain to see everyone wildly worshiping the
golden calf. "Those people had nothing on this
place." As the two roll the equipment
further into the heart of the facility, the
steer decor becomes more prevalent. Longhorn
images adorn the staircases
,
the windows
,
the chairs
,
light fixtures
,
and even the carpet is made of a longhorn
pattern
.
The two quickly set up the gear. Within 15
minutes, George returns from his brother's place.
"Hey, did you two see all that cool Bevo stuff
on the first floor? It's like a museum down
there. I even saw silver stars on the ground of
all the previous steers
.
Do you think Bevo's here on site somewhere? I'd
love to get a picture of Matthew feeding him or
something."
A quick sound check reveals a faulty, blown monitor. Lee rushes down to the van to get a replacement speaker, and the crisis is resolved. A year ago, an issue like this would have stressed the band out and affected the start of their performance; but now, the trio takes things like this in stride. Unphased, this obstacle rolls off them like mud off Bevo's hooves.
The guests begin to arrive for a pre-dinner
mixer. George starts the trio off slow but
steady with some well-paced instrumentals.
After a few tunes, George introduces the group;
and then he and Matthew make the same
announcement they make at every out-of-town gig:
The claim that "It's nice to be back once again
in Lee's
hometown."
This always garners the same polite applause
from the audience regardless of which town the
band is in. For that matter, it pretty much gets
the same disapproving look from Lee each time as
well.
Halfway through the first set, the band moves into songs with vocals. It's at that point that George realizes that Matthew has a persistent cough, and it appears to be gaining on him. He fights to keep it quiet, but to no avail. Matthew sounds like the struggling ignition of an old pickup truck trying to start on a cold winter's morning "Hhhssscccaaaaauuuuuugggghhh... rrrrnnnnaaauuuugggghhh." George feels bad for him, but can't resist the temptation to ask if Matthew's got some Corn Nuts stuck in his throat. "Are you okay to sing?" he asks between songs. "I don't...know... I...caaaaauuuuuugghhhhh"
But as much discomfort as he's in, Matthew is still able to deliver solid vocal lines as if he's never felt better. The proof of this when Matthew dynamically croons MAC THE KNIFE to the strongest round of applause of the evening so far. Keeping with the age old rule of ending on a high point, George announces that they're "going to take a break to learn some new songs".
The three head for the sumptuous buffet and pile
their plates high. The beef is extraordinary.
Lee samples a bite of the beef from his plate
.
It's delectable. He briefly
wonders if this maybe some distant relative of Bevo.
George and Matthew head over to the 'band's
table', to find that a group of people already
sitting there. The two intercept Lee and report
that "Someone took the table that was set aside
for us." Lee incredulously asks "They took
it?" (One can never be to sure about whether or
not George is telling the truth or simply
playing a prank). "They didn't remove it - some
guests are sitting at our reserved table."
Rather than make a fuss over their recent displacement, the threesome gravitate to the only open space they can find: the coat check area. It's a relatively large open closet area, and there's a podium for the guys to balance their plates on while they stand to eat. Occasionally a guest who's leaving early will enter the area to retrieve their coat or cowboy hat. Even so, these mild interruptions don't slow the guy's feast. George makes the observation "Hey, these cowboy hats remind me of something. Have you noticed anything weird about this event?" Matthew puts his fork down for a moment "Oh yeah, all the Longhorn related stuff?" "No, not any of that. Have you noticed that we have not been approached even once to play country and western music?" "Hmmmm...that is pretty remarkable when you consider we're pretty much in the heart of 'cowboy junction'. I guess it's NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN." Lee chimes in as he heads back to the buffet "Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad because we really don't play that type of music very well."
After a few minutes, the band reassembles and launches into the 2nd set. A request from the audience to play MOONDANCE is granted. After a few more tunes, and older gentleman approaches the band and asks to borrow a mic. He introduces himself to the band as Jim Knuckles. George has watched him dance with numerous partners all night. "You've got a pretty full dance card tonight." Jim shrugs it off and compliments George's hat. Jim turns the mic on and addresses the crowd. He delivers typical emcee idioms and rhetoric that the guys usually hear at these types of things. But what Jim lacks in oratory ability is made up in the sincerity of his comments. At the end of his statements, he thanks the band and encourages everyone to head back to the dance floor.
"Oh, time to go back to work." As the band plays on, Jim continues to smooth talk women into dancing with him throughout the remainder of the night. Every few minutes Jim dances by with a different young lady; and each time he pauses a moment near the piano to comment about how much he admires George's hat. After the 5th comment George takes it off and tosses it to him. Jim dances another song or two wearing George's black pork pie chapeau. George announces the band will be playing the last song of the night. He jokingly boasts (for those still paying attention) that "This is a song we've closed our shows with for nearly 25 years." The harmonies are perfect as WHAT WONDERFUL WORLD closes the evening.
Jim returns
the hat to George and comments on how large his
head is. "Yeah, Matthew is always telling me I'm
Big-Headed". In the same
spirit Jim offers his hat for him to try on. George mistakenly
refers to it as a 'Cowboy hat'. Jim is
quick to correct him stating it's a 'western
hat'. You can't call it a cowboy hat if you
haven't seen the person wearing it ride. George
fires back without missing a beat "I haven't
seen you ride a horse, but I've seen you dance with
every single woman in this place tonight. Yeah,
you're a cowboy" "Oh, that? They only dance with
me 'cause I'm a harmless old man - they know I'm
safe. The two get a quick picture together
,
and then Jim is off to mingle in the crowd some
more.
In an effort to suppress his cough, Matthew orders an O'doul's from the bartender. "OHHH Man - that hits the spot!" Matthew developed the taste for these non-alcoholic beers while living overseas. He guzzles down three of them while packing up the gear. "You should go get one of these - they're non-alcoholic." "Thanks Matt, but I think Lee and I are going to head over to the desert area to get some non-alcoholic cheesecake and pie." "Are you sure?" "Yeah, we're very sure."
A short time later the equipment is loaded an
rolled back again through the 'Bevo Museum'.
Farewells are said to George as Lee and Matthew
close up the van (including the side door this
time) to head home to Houston . George
calibrates the G.P.S. to find the way back to
his brother's place.
In all, the trio's first trip to Texas' capital has been a big success: The guys have made over $250.00 in tips (which is a new record). Matthew has a belly full of non-alcoholic beer. Lee believes that he got to eat some lost relative of the school's mascot. George got to wear a cowboy ha...I mean, a 'Western Hat'. There were no requests for the trio to play country music, and the guys got to do what they love together - play music for people to celebrate and dance to.
< Previous Back to Main Blog Page Next >