The Once and Future King
April 15th,
Note: Normally these writings do
not relay information of pending or upcoming
plans of the group, but we felt this one was too
good to pass up:
Recently, the trio were contacted by an Elvis impersonator named Ralph Elizondo to consider playing with him as his backup band. I know what you're thinking - "Ralph??? How can anyone named 'Ralph' bring to life the phenomenonal magic of that hip-swaying boy from Memphis?" We agree: the name 'Ralph' ranks pretty high on the list of supposed non-Presley-ian type things right below names like Ivan, DeShawn, and Otto.
Despite this etymological challenge, Ralph is
pretty good. He is a third-generation
musician/performer who
has been imitating the King for a decade or so,
appearing as 'E' at hundreds of venues,
including shows like Entertainment Tonight. He
has even has aired his own 30-minute
Elvis of the 50's & 60's
local television show in early 2002. So, he's
the real deal.
Check out video of Ralph in character here:
mms://houstonelvis.com/houstonelvis/dontbecruel.wmv
Tonight's meeting is being held at a Benningan's
restaurant
on Houston's north side, near Greenspoint mall.
This location was chosen for three reasons: (1.)
It's symbolic to GP3 since their very first band
meeting was held here (2.) Geographically, it's
the halfway point for everyone (3.) The restaurant
serves an
entré
affectionately know as the
MONTE CRISTO.
This is a monster of a sandwich which
contains a heaping of
turkey, ham,
Swiss & American cheese. The sandwich is
deep-fried then dipped in raspberry jelly. To
finish it all off it then has powered sugar
dumped on top. The Lee and George believe that this is
perfect for making sure that Ralph stays in true Elvis
form
by maintaining his intake of strange southern
deep-fried cuisine.
<Click
here for the recipe>
But Matthew is not convinced as to whether or not the impersonator will eat healthy or not since his act is the 1950's -60's era Elvis - in other words The 'Skinny' Elvis. George suggests that they get him 'fattened up' so they'll get to play that 'IN THE GHETTO' song which was performed later when Elvis 'ballooned up' to the size of the Michelin Man.
The guys have studied up on the web about their soon-to-arrive dinner guest (http://www.houstonelvis.com) It turns out that Ralph is ranked # 2 in the nation and #10 in the entire world of Elvis impersonators. They understand that it is a huge compliment that this guy has chosen them. The guys contemplate how the Elvis rankings are achieved. "So do you think these Elvis guys have some kinda 'Elvis-Olympiad' or something to determine who's best?" "Yeah, the events are probably centered around the duration you can swivel your pelvis, followed by slow-motion karate moves, and the hotel television shoot out." As the three wait, they agree that it must be something like this and resolve to ask when he gets here.
Matthew decides to wash up. Lee and George
notice that he sheepishly takes his computer
laptop with him to the men's room. "What's that
about?" "Does
he not trust that we would we leave it alone? I
mean, it's not like we would hide it from
him...well...it's not like we would hide it from
him for too long." Yeah, just until Elvis gets here."
Matthew returns the table to face a fair amount
of razzing for this. It's to be expected, but he
does have his computer and it is
intact. "Laugh all you like guys."
As the restaurant begins to fill for dinner service, the guys watch the door. They size up each patron that comes through - "Could that be Elvis?" "No." "That one?...not yet." They discuss what are the key questions that they'll need answered to make an informed decision about this possible alliance. Matthew states, that he's just going to listen. "Just lay back and see what this guy has to offer, and just listen." They continue to talk of how it would be 'cool' to play back up for an Elvis impersonator vs. playing for a less publically accepted entertainer - Like someone who would impersonate Ecuadorian rapper Gerardo. Known to most as 'that Rico Suavé Guy.' (who incidentally refers to himself as the 'Latin Elvis'). For that matter, it would be better to be helping Ralph than playing for the 'Real Rico Suavé Guy'.
Over George's shoulder, Matthew and Lee see it first. Coming up the sidewalk, in full Elvis costume is Ralph. "Wow! Do you think that he dresses like this all the time -or is this just for us?" "How can you tell it's the right Elvis impersonator?" Elvis...er..Ralph moves across the room like a stage towards the three standing figures. He smiles and takes his place in the empty seat opposite of the trio. "I'm Ralph." Introductions are blurted out in unison. Hands are thrusted out for quickly shaking. It's time to start.
Matthew immediately jumps in and dispenses with small talk. He is polite, but rattles off questions to Ralph like a Gatling gun searching for a target. Lee and George burst into laughter. Lee remarks about how "...it's a good thing Matthew wasn't going to say much." (More laughter). But Matthew doesn't slow. Question after question - this friendly interrogation is enough to rival that of Hanns Scharff. Oddly, very few of Matthew's questions have anything to do with Ralph's musical expectations, band logistics, song lists, etc. The rapid-fire questions mostly surround things like "Did Elvis really know all that karate? Was Colonel Tom Parker a big jerk? When did The Jordanaires begin to accompany Elvis?" George and Lee are concerned that maybe Matthew doesn't know that Ralph has never met Elvis and that he is NOT Elvis -it continues: "How much did Priscilla sell Graceland for? Are they really going to convert it into a theme park?" And finally, "In the movie Kissin' Cousins, where Elvis plays a twin of himself, which twin did you like him as the best? Josh - the soldier, or Jodie - the hillbilly?" Lee is hysterical! (The prosecution rests your honor).
Feeling mischievous, George heads over to the jukebox and selects the Elvis tune "A LITTLE LESS CONVERSATION". Matthew gets the message. It's Ralph's turn. He passes out press packs, and begins to speak of his vision with the act. The conversation weaves through topics of song arrangements, his collection of over 30 replica outfits made by Elvis' own clothes designer, overnight stays, former shows, etc.
James, the guys' waiter brings the check. The
trio have been having fun with him all evening,
and he has been most gracious to this rowdy
table. James obliges them when asked to take a
photo of Elvis and GP3.
Ralph subconsciously displays one of the King's
greatest attributes: generosity. To their
surprise, he pays for the trio's dinner. The
four shake hands again; this time more slowly
and deliberate. As they make their
way to the parking lot, George tries to figure
out a way to get Matthew's laptop away from him,
but doesn't have an opportunity.
As Elvis
drives into the distance,
the trio realizes that
this, as odd as this all seems, could
actually happen. It's been laid at their
doorstep - If they want to, they can do this
Elvis/GP3 backup band thing and eventually see
10 times the amount of venues then they perform
at now. The band will sleep on the idea tonight
and vote tomorrow. It's very surreal - anything can happen
now.
And in keeping with the 'Anything-Can-Happen' motif: Tune in next week when the GP3 battle rabid vampire-unicorns on Mars.