Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay
February 12th,
It’s a rainy Tuesday evening at the
boardwalk in Kemah.
BP of Texas City has hired the trio to play for
their annual employee volunteer appreciation
dinner. The three begin setting up in an elegant
banquet room on the third floor of Landry's
seafood restaurant. Set up goes
remarkably smooth due to Lee's recent
construction of a portable, self-contained case
for the sound equipment. The guys have nicknamed the
new addition 'The GP5000'.
They just roll it into place, plug it in, and 'Voilà!'
it's ready to go. No more confusion and
aggravation about which cord goes where in the
p.a.
In contrast, the Landry's crew are busy trying to assemble a
dance floor for the evening.
Several of them are sliding 3 x 3 wooden squares
around on the carpet directly in front of the
band. Each tile square has an interlocking
connection on the four corners that have to be placed
in a
specific order to join up with the other tiles.
The members of the the crew are becoming
increasingly frustrated as they
fight to
solve the pattern. Normally Lee is not a
mean-spirited guy, but he does take
pleasure in the fact that it's not him
struggling against the clock to set up . Matthew and George vocalize this
sentiment by mildly heckling the crew. "I feel
like I'm watching some reality show game
challenge." "Yeah, it looks like their playing a
giant version of one of those
sliding puzzle games." The friendly banter
continues on until the trio decide to go
downstairs for a bite to eat. The crew is
relieved the band is gone-now maybe they can
concentrate and get this blasted Rubic's cube of
a floor setup!
Once down stairs, the guys treat themselves to
warm bowls of Landry's gumbo.
The
mood is relaxed, due largely to the easy setup
(courtesy of the
GP5000). The three talk about the evening's
venue. Matthew points out the irony of being
paid to perform at an event that celebrates
volunteerism. Lee and George threaten to throw
his bass in the bay if he mentions any of this
'Crazy Talk' to Iris, the evening's hostess.
Matthew looks out the window as the waves lap
the dock then stares back down into his
half-eaten bowl of gumbo.
After a brief dinner, the trio return upstairs to
find they are the only ones here. No more hustle and bustle,
as the
Landry's crew have abandoned the area. It would
appear that the wooden tiles have won, as there
is not a single square anywhere in the room! "I
can't believe that they just...Gave Up! That's too
funny!" The band goes to work starting with
mainly jazz instrumentals.
A few minutes later, Iris and Lakeisha give some
last minute instructions. The people trickle in,
and look pleased to be inside where it's dry and
warm. The trio's soothing jazz tones blanket the
room with a welcome audible canopy.
Being two days before valentine's day, many of the tunes tonight are ballads and love songs. George occasionally breaks from character to play volunteer themed titles like ONLY YOU, CHANGE THE WORLD, etc. As the evening progresses, he becomes more bold by leading the group into playing anything that pops into his head like version of Aaron Neville's YELLOW MOON and I’M NOT THE MAN YOU THINK I AM (BUT I’M THE MAN FOR YOU). Even stranger still, George announces that today is the 199th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin – “...and whether or not you agree with his theories of evolution, this individual has done more for the advancement of simian relations (specifically monkeys and apes) than Jane Goodall, Cheeta, and Chim-Chim combined.” Then the band plays the Nat King Cole song STRAIGHTEN UP AND FLY RIGHT in which the misadventures of a monkey flying on the back of a buzzard are told.
Finally, the evening's presenter, Kathy takes the stage. She thanks the volunteers (George and Lee give Matthew a sharp 'Don't say a Word about the money' look) then she shows a video of BP volunteer highlights from the past year. Next to address the audience is Iris. Halfway through her presentation Matthew is busted by her as he attempts to get Lee’s attention “Pssst..Pssst...Lee...” Iris turns around thinking he's trying to get her attention. Matthew face turns as red as if he’d been caught passing note in grade school. Iris forgives him (but Lee and George do not).
After the awards are passed out, the trio is allowed to get a little looser musically. As many of the guests still are milling about, the music signals the end of the night by becoming more aggressive-the ballads will not be heard from the rest of the evening. Some of the more bold of the volunteers ask the band to play SITTIN’ BY THE DOCK OF THE BAY, an obvious choice considering the location of tonight's ceremony. What's not obvious is that these guests want to line-dance to it.
Line-dancing is a type of rhythmic walking and turning around (often stumbling into the person next to you) rumored to have been developed on a dare by a marching band drum major and some cowboys. Legend has it that this form of non-touching 'dancing' was born out of the cowboys' desire to imitate Michael Jackson's 1981 THRILLER video, but then something went horribly wrong. The line-dancing craze reached critical mass in early 1992. Shortly thereafter being overthrown by the brief and unexpected resurgence of the Chicken Dance, and then a second wave of assault came from the Macarena later that same year.
But line-dancing to an Otis Redding song even without a dance floor - Now that's commitment to the form! After a bit of bewilderment at this request, the trio gladly oblige the dancers. And they dance and dance and dance and dance some more. The guys play a sadistic extended marathon version of the song intended to dance these guests through the 3rd floor into the second level of the restaurant. But after the band plows through the chorus for the umpteenth time, the dance troop retires. Even they know when too much is too much.
The final song request of the evening from the
volunteers is
FOLSOM PRISON BLUES
- what is it with these people? Was there some
catastrophic chemical spill that turned these
kind people in to Johnny Cash-loving-line-dancing mutants?
But Matthew belts out
the request, closing down the night. Before the
guys pack up, they're offered some of the
evening's left over desserts: A holy pie
trinity. Matthew goes for
the pecan pie, Lee the cheesecake, and George
the key lime.
These are AMAZING! "Whoa...this is great! They
could have paid us in pie for all I care!" Lee
goes back for a second (or is that a third) piece.
Loading up goes quickly tonight. The three emerge from the restaurant to find the rain has cleared, and left a cooler temperature in its place. With the threesome’s tip money burning a hole in their pockets, they approach one of the boardwalk’s midway games - the 'Squirt-a-Wheel'. The objective of the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ is simple: Using a high-pressure water gun, competitors blast a small rotating target 6 feet away. As the target is struck by the stream of water, a cylinder is pushed upwards until crossing the finish line. The three will compete to try to win a stuffed Scooby Doo doll dressed as a pirate. The stakes are high: Lee and George have not recovered from the fact that they did so poorly with the Denny’s crane game a few months ago.
The operator of the game says that 4
players are required to play a round of
‘Squirt-a-Wheel’. “You only have three.”
But George WILL NOT BE DENIED the chance to
humiliate Lee and Matthew in water-spraying
combat! He musters all of his powers of
persuasion, using an old Jedi Mind Trick
allowing 3 to play instead of the required 4
(actually it was the extra cash he gave the
attendant). The bored operator agrees with a
sigh of indifference – the rain earlier has made
for a slow night, so he’ll let these yahoos
fight it out. Lee gets some insider info from
the operator that station 11 is the favorite to
win. But George is determined to prevail
regardless of Lee’s mechanical odds. He
strategically positions himself between Matthew
and Lee. The lines on George and Lee’s faces
intensify. Their postures snap into a stance that
resembles WWII tail-gunners. To George’s left,
Matthew is still thinking about the pecan pie
and, how he wishes he had gone back for another
slice.
Without warning, the operator launches the
game! The guys scramble to adjust their sprays.
George leans over to knock Matthew off the
stool, a dirty trick that will cost George some
valuable time and ultimately the prize because
the lights and buzzer at station 11 are sounding
victory. Lee exuberantly waves the Scooby Doo
pirate-dog
at George and Matthew.
They both allow Lee to have his moment of
triumph knowing there will be other battles.
The three stand around telling stories and jokes as the ‘Squirt-a-Wheel’ booth closes down for the night. Each joke more outlandish than the previous. The soft glow of neon from the boardwalk is reflected in puddles of fresh rain. The raucous sounds of the trio echo off the slick pavement. From a distance their three silhouettes can be seen spasmodically bouncing around occasionally buckling with laughter - A good night in Kemah.
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